Where Are You Christmas?

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Christmas seasons usually have
a heartwarming kind of coldness in the air,
but right now, it’s not.

To me, it’s just an ordinary cold December-month
surrounded by solitude and emptiness.
It’s bitter!
I am bitter!
I am blinded by the grief in my heart that I can’t seem to
appreciate the meaning of the season.

Is Christmas really coming soon?
It’s the season to be jolly, right?
It’s my favorite holiday!
A wonderful time for celebrating and sharing,
but I can’t feel any of it.
Gone is the nostalgic feeling of listening to
Christmas songs.
Gone is the happiness
of decorating for Christmas.
Gone is the excitement
of waking up on Christmas morning.
My Christmas spirit is gone.

Christmas is for family,
but I feel so alone.
I’m not used to celebrating it
without my father.
I just can’t.

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