Article

The 11 Commandments of Getting Over a Cheater

Moving on after being cheated on is hard. There would be a lot of times where you question yourself why you got replaced.

Am I not good enough? Am I boring? Am I less attractive? You ask over and over as you cry yourself to sleep.

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I am not gonna tell you that the pain will go soon, because it won’t. It will take a lot of insecurities, denials, doubts and self-pity before you can finally say, I’m done being miserable.

Only you, plus the power of time can help yourself move on.

THE 11 COMMANDMENTS OF GETTING OVER A CHEATER

THOU SHALT NOT AGREE WITH ANY BREAKUP SEX

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Why did your ex cheated on you again? Oh, because he/she found someone they think is better. Don’t make yourself less of what they think you are by allowing them to use you before completely dumping you.

Yes, yes! You are so much in love with him/her and maybe the breakup sex will make them come back. It won’t! Why would you get back together with the person who just cheated on you?

Or you want to spend the last possible moment with them by agreeing with the breakup sex. It’s not worth it. They don’t even deserve any of your time at all.

Self respect is all you ever have at this point, don’t let them take it away. Just leave with your head up!

Janna met up with Von for some closure after she caught him having an affair with someone else. She broke up with him a few days earlier, but because she was so in love with him, she agreed to have a breakup sex for the last time.
Von continued the relationship with his other woman and Janna moved on. After a month, Janna confirmed that she is pregnant with Von’s child, but he doesn’t want anything to do with her believing that some other guy could have gotten her pregnant.

Don’t add insult to injury.

Meeting your ex for closure and thinking that they will give you the answers you need as to why your relationship didn’t work out, is not the solution. He/she cheated on you. The problem is with them since they don’t have the courage to end your relationship first before going to another one.

THOU SHALT NOT COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR EX

Blocking your ex totally on social media is the easiest and fastest way to cut any connection you have with them. It is not being bitter or spiteful. The less updates about your ex, the better. The less chance you can stalk your ex, the faster you can get over them.

Some cheaters have the tendency to ask how you are at some point. Don’t be too excited. It could be that they are guilty of cheating on you and wanted to make up for it (without the intention of getting back) or they just wanted to make sure that you didn’t kill or harm yourself after the breakup. Either way, don’t reply. Please. If you are not over the person yet, it is better to not respond at all.

You might find it difficult to go on alone as days go by knowing you always talk or hangout everyday. You just need to get used to it, one step at a time, until you get there. You were doing great before you met him/her, so why do you think you won’t be okay this time?

Remove your ex out of your life, you don’t deserve compassion from the person who has the guts to hurt you.

THOU SHALT HAVE THE RIGHT TO GRIEF

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This is the stage where you ask yourself pathetic questions on why he/she cheated on you while you roll over your bed, staining every corner of your pillow with unworthy tears.

It’s okay. Crying doesn’t mean that you are weak. It simply shows that you acknowledged the fact that he/she betrayed you. Cry because you lost a magical connection. It is magical because you did a lot of things you never think you can just to keep the person (that’s magic, right?), though they chose not to.

You have all the right to cry, to let out all the pain that has been adding more burden to your already-broken heart. The more you cry, the more your eyes will grow tired of shedding useless tears for an undeserving person, until they can shed no more.

Don’t be ashamed to cry. Have a drink with your close friends and go crazy. Share your feelings to them. You can shout or scream. Do whatever it is that you think can help you make the pain go away. The more you express how you feel, the lighter your heart feels. Deal with the swollen eyes later.

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THOU SHALT REMOVE ANYTHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR EX

Photos, gifts, clothes, souvenirs, you name it. Donate the clothes that he/she gave you or sell the useful stuff in a garage sale.

Hide the expensive jewelry in a safe place. You may feel obnoxious about it now, but in a few years, it might come in handy.

Draw horns and cursed at all his/her photos before you burn them or shred them to pieces. Focus your energy on the fire as it burns and imagine all the negativity in your life melts with the photo.

or…

You can use his/her photos for voodoo purposes. Just kidding.

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THOU SHALT NOT POST ANY DRAMAS OR QUOTES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

I know you were betrayed by the person you trusted, but please refrain from broadcasting that your significant other ex is a cheater on social media. If you want to vent out how you feel, you have your family and close friends to talk to. People on social media will like, comment or share your posts, but it doesn’t mean they care about your situation or feelings. Some will just find it entertaining and amusing.

Let’s say you embarrassed your ex and his/her other woman/man, then what? What now? Will it make you feel good about yourself? Maybe at first as you read all those comforting comments from people. But are you happy? Will he/she comes back to you?

If and if, they finally realize that they made the wrong decision of cheating on you, do you think they will still want to get back together with you after what you did? Think.

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You might be in so much pain right now, but when time finally heals everything, you won’t be able to take back all the things you posted and how you made your life an amusement to people.


People posting any HURTING or I MOVED ON quotes are the ones who actually didn’t moved on yet. They just want to tell the world they are over it, even when they’re not. If you post such quotes on social media to let your ex know that you already moved on, then you are fooling yourself.

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The process of moving on is reticent. Moving on itself is silent. It doesn’t need to be boasted or announced. You are the one going through the breakup, not the world. They don’t need to watch or read your drama through your social media.

You can keep the quotes in your phone album or apply it as your wallpaper to remind yourself that you are hurting, but you will and can move on.

Have you ever tried reading a post you had a few years ago about your ex and feel a slight embarrassment, then without second thoughts you just delete it? Well, that’s how you literally moved on.

You yourself know that you finally moved on when you won’t give a single damn about what your ex thinks about you. (If, he/she ever thinks about you.)

THOU SHALT STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO THE OTHER PERSON

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When I say block your ex on social media, it also includes blocking the person they had cheated with. Avoid stalking the other person because it will just make you feel a lot worthless and insecure, thus slowing the moving on process. Don’t ever think that the other person is favored just because your ex cheated with them. Let them deal with your ex as they live an uneasy life knowing that once a cheater is always a cheater.

THOU SHALT NOT GO ON A REBOUND.

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Rebound is one of the stupid things to do to prove to your ex that you can get someone as fast. Are you sure that this rebound person is into you? What if they are only grabbing the opportunity because you are vulnerable at the moment? Stop using the other person and vice versa.

“You got it bad when you’re out with someone
But you keep on thinking ’bout somebody else…”

Please don’t be this kind of person. Stop confusing yourself. A rebound will only delay the moving on process.

THOU SHALT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

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Breaking up with a cheater doesn’t mean that you have to lose yourself in the situation and give him/her a better reason to think that they did the right thing.

NO.

Don’t ever forget to take care of yourself. You don’t make yourself look good because you want to impress other people, you do it because you love yourself.

Go to the salon, get a new haircut or change your hair color. Go to a spa and reward yourself with a relaxing massage.

Eat healthy. Stop overfeeding yourself with ice cream and chocolates. I know they taste good, but they won’t help you move on. You will feel a lot worse once you look in the mirror and see what these sweets had done to your body.

Get yourself enough sleep. Buy new sheets. Re-decorate your room. Turn on soothing music and dim lights.

Go shopping. Buy yourself new clothes and shoes. You deserve all the good things in life as long as you can afford them.

Go to the gym and focus your energy on workouts and exercises. Do things that will make your body thank you for it.

 

THOU SHALT ENJOY BEING SINGLE

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Now is the best time to give all your attention to your family and friends. Enjoy being single. Make yourself a better person than you were before. Focus on your career. Help the needy. Travel with friends. Write a blog. Be funny and smile often. The more positivity you bring to your life, the more you attract the right people.

THOU SHALT GO ON A DATE WHEN YOU ARE READY

Breaking up is not the end of the world. Your ex cheating on you, is in fact, the universe’s way of telling you that he/she is not THE ONE.

It is okay to mourn over a lost love, but you don’t need to stay in that place too long. Don’t loose the opportunity to meet THE ONE just because you are scared to open up your door again.

When you think you are ready, try to meet people, flirt a little, go on a date and take chances. Don’t be afraid of love. Dating is like a trial and error, so do it as slowly as you can. Remember, true love is patient and the right person will come when the time is right.

THOU SHALT LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE

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The moment you learn how to forgive your cheating ex is a sign that you already accepted that your relationship is over.

It might sound impossible but, once you find it in your heart to forgive, the faster it will be for you to reach the I MOVED ON stage.

It is not your fault that he/she cheated on you because if they really love you, they will never ever hurt you no matter what.

Allow time to heal your broken heart. All of us have been there, we got lost, but later learned how to find ourselves, stood up and in the end, moved on.

5 thoughts on “The 11 Commandments of Getting Over a Cheater”

  1. Careers have been made politically impossible for men who don’t cheat because of those who do. If they’re cheating on wife and kids…. God only knows what else they’re into. Takes some privilege to at least play these games. Prefer drinking coffee helping other riff raff now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow… a very realistic approach from you, giving advice to us which is akin to a glowing candle in the dark. Love the way that you have added gifs into your writings to make it more interesting. Hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on!

    Liked by 1 person

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